Show Stuff

Scroll down to see tips, recipes, Web references and other stuff--including some funnies--we talk about on the show.

Things My Mother Taught Me

Things My Mother Taught Me

 

 

1.  My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
     "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
 
2.  My mother taught me RELIGION.
     "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
 
3.  My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
     "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
 
4.  My father taught me LOGIC.
     "Because I said so, that's why."
...

Then and Now--This is Progress?

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1973: Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2016: School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

---

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1973: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled...

Apolitical Aphorisms

Apolitical       Aphorisms

If God wanted us to vote, he would have

given us candidates.

~Jay Leno~

The problem with political jokes is they

get elected.

~Henry

Cate, VII~

We hang the petty thieves

and appoint the great ones to public office.

~Aesop~

If we got one-tenth of what was promised

to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement

to go to heaven.

~Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over. They

promise...

Retirement Options

Retirement  Options
You can retire to Phoenix,
Arizona where…

 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your heiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE...

Things You Never Knew About Toilet Paper

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. The first recorded use of toilet paper was in 6th Century China.
2. By the 14th Century, the Chinese government was mass-producing it. 
3. Packaged toilet paper wasn’t sold in the United States until 1857. 
4. Joseph Gayetty, the man who introduced packaged TP to the U.S., had his name printed on every sheet. 
5. Global toilet paper demand uses...

Mary Jo's Window Cleaning Recipe

 

 

Here is an easy, CHEAP recipe for window cleaner.  I have a lot of windows, and my cleaning lady likes it better than Windex!!

1/2 cup ammonia
1 pint isopropyl alcohol
1 teaspoon joy

fill container with one gallon water.

 

A Soldier Comes Home to His Cat

 

This is so touching

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDrjzq6DuTE

A Soldier Comes Home to His Dog

 

 

A soldier comes home after 6 months--his dog is thrilled

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=00FEJMNU&utm_source=GodTube%20Must-See%20Video&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=07/21/2013

Soldier Comes Home

This is a tear jerker if you have ever had a child in the military;  Semper Fi 

 

 If I lived near a Food City store,

         they would get my business.

A 4th of July Food City commercial

Grab a Kleeenex

(Thanks contributer Don)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=...

When Insults Had Class

 

These outstanding insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

 

• A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

• "He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

•"He has all the virtues I dislike...