Show Stuff

Scroll down to see tips, recipes, Web references and other stuff--including some funnies--we talk about on the show.

25 Great Truths

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
-- John Adams

2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
-- Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But then I repeat myself.
-- Mark Twain

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle....

Government Bureaucracy

All you Need to Know about Government Bureaucracy:

** Pythagorean theorem: ....................................................24 words.

** Lord's Prayer: .................................................................66 words.

** Archimedes' Principle: ....................................................67 words.

** 10 Commandments: .......................................................179 words.

** Gettysburg address: ........................................................286 words.

** Declaration of...

New Exercise Program

Cat and barbell

The Doctor told me, I should start an exercise program. Not wanting to
harm this old body, I've devised the following:

Monday
Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper

Tuesday
Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head

Wednesday
Bend over backwards
Jump on the Band Wagon
Run around in circles

Thursday
Advise the President on how to run the country
Toot my own horn
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire

Friday
Open a can of worms
Put my foot...

20 Tips for a Positive New Year

1. Stay Positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can know that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.

2. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement: My purpose is_______________________.

3. Take a morning walk of gratitude. It will create a fertile mind ready for success.

4. Instead of being disappointed about where you are think optimistically about where you are going.

5. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

6. Transform...

Hallelujah Chorous at Philadelphia Macy's

You will love this--just in time for the holidays.

It's goose bump time!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp_RHnQ-jgU

How Many Dogs to Change a Light Bulb?

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives
ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh?
Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check
to...

Funny Engineering Equations

Funny Engineering Equations (Thanks Tom K.)

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel
and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour =
Knotfurlong

7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

12. 453.6 graham crackers...

2029 Headlines (thanks Don)

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally!...

Washington Post Mensa Invitational (new words for old)

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in...

Are You a Coloradoan?

Subject: ARE YOU FROM COLORADO?

A winter statistic: 98.0% of Americans scream before going in the ditch on a slippery road. The other 2.0% are from Colorado and they say, 'Hold my soda and watch this.'

You are from Colorado if:

You will eat ice cream in the winter.

It snows 5 inches and you don't expect school to be canceled.

You'll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature.

You have no accent at all, but can hear other people's. And then you make fun of them.

'Humid,' is over 25.0%.

Your sense of direction is: Toward the mountains and Away from the mountains.

You say 'the interstate' and everybody knows which one...