Health:
1.. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar..
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did...
The Bad Economy
...
Performers of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.
They include:
Bobby Darin ---
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker .
Ringo Starr ---
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
The Bee Gees -- -
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Roberta Flack---
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.
Paul...
"CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for...
Tip Contest
Homemade Recipes
________________________________________________
Window Cleaner (thanks Mary):
½ Cup ammonia
1 Cup white vinegar
2 Tbsp. corn starch
½ bucket warm water
Add ½ cup alcohol when it's cold outside
...
Grandparents:
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably neverput lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair As she...
Here are the quotes from today's show for us cat lovers.
PLEASE CLICK ON:
ENJOY
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift
I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
********************************************************************** **
My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?" I replied "Dust"..
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ********************************************************************** **
> A woman is standing nude, looking in...
Read my latest blog entries.
