What Mom Taught Me
1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me: LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not...