Show Stuff

Scroll down to see tips, recipes, Web references and other stuff--including some funnies--we talk about on the show.

25 Things Mom Taught Me (Thanks Patty)

 

What Mom Taught Me

 

1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 

'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me: LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not...

Drywall Magic--local author

Drywall Magic by Local Author Glenn Raymond

 

 

Southern Humor (thanks Don)

Subject: Southern Humor.. 

The South - You Just Gotta Love ALL Of It...

                                  Alabama
                                A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting
and paired off in twos for the day.  That night, one of the hunters returned
alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
                ...

Handbook for 2010

 

 

 

Health:
1..       Drink plenty of water.
2.       Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar..
3.       Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4.       Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5.       Make time to pray.
6.       Play more games

7.       Read more books than you did...

How Bad is the Ecomony?

 

Stock ChartThe Bad Economy

...

Funny Quotations about Dogs

Dog smiling

These are great--check out this link:

http://www.basicjokes.com/dquotes.php?cid=188

 

 


Revised Song Titles for Baby Boomers (Thanks Pat and Jim Bramich)

50's juke box in the malt shop

Performers of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.

They include:
Bobby Darin ---
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker .
Ringo Starr ---
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
The Bee Gees -- -
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Roberta Flack---
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.
Paul...

Creative Puns (Thanks Don for Castle Rock)

"CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for...

Homemade Recipes (very cheap)

 

Tip Contest

Homemade Recipes

________________________________________________

Window Cleaner (thanks Mary):

½  Cup ammonia

1 Cup white vinegar

2 Tbsp. corn starch

½ bucket warm water

Add ½ cup alcohol when it's cold outside

...
Grandparents (Thanks Nancy Doty)

 

Grandparents:

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably neverput lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair As she...